Off The Record
by Ms. Kinnikufan
Summary: Phylange speaks off the record about the break-up of the Thrilling Three, why the public never embraced him, and why Gazerbeam was so hard to get along with.


Off The Record

By Ms. Kinnikufan

Caution: Homosexuality is briefly mentioned in this fic. If you're uncomfortable with that, please push the back button.

Disclaimer: It's all Pixar and Brad Bird's.

Are we off the record? Good.

Apparently the people at the NSA who made my file thought it was selfish to want respect I didn't "earn" and I was never embraced by the public.

You know why the public didn't embraced me? I'm gay and I refused to hide that. The NSA probably would liked to hide it, but I didn't. I can be annoying that way.

When reporters asked "When am I going to find a nice girl?", I'd respond that I hoped to find a dashing gentleman first.

The NSA kept telling me to tone it down a notch. I would argue why, I was just being honest on to which sex I was attracted to, not giving out the gory details of my personal life (that's Gamma Jack's thing).

Maybe the public never embraced me because of that, but I believe one must be true to one's self.

Anyway, I wanted respect, and by respect I mean I wanted to be treated like a human being.

Gazerbeam never treated me or Apogee like we were beings capable of independent thought.

He tolerated no questions or suggestions on his orders because he was just so "right" in everything and at everything.

He acted like he was just so amazing because he had more years of experience as a super and was all so perfect because he had a fancy shamncy law degree.

Look, a law degree may make you all so smart, but it doesn't make you a perfect person or even a good leader.

Honestly, I don't know what the NSA was smoking when they appointed Gazerbeam as Dynaguy's replacement. Gazerbeam nearly got kicked off The Phatasmics (his previous team) because he clashed with Everseer.

I've met pine cones with better social skills then Gazerbeam. Pine cones!

Why Gazerbeam? Why not Elasti-Girl? She had far better social skills then Gazerbeam, and was just bossy and prideful enough to be a good leader. Not too bossy and prideful, but just the right amount.

Anyway, one of the most freaking things about Gazerbeam was that neither Apogee nor I saw him laugh or cry. Also, everything he said sounded prerecorded like the guy was a damn answering machine. Even his "hellos". His freaking hellos!

Me and Gazerbeam clashed from the start.

We had just defeated an explosive team-up between Bomb Voyage and Captain Explosion. Me and Apogee were helping the hostages get medical aid and trying to calm down those who were physically uninjured. Gazerbeam is talking to the reporters instead of helping us out. I try to call this to his attention and he goes: "Not now Phylange. I'm explaining the situation to the media." like he the freaking king and me and Apogee are his minions or something.

Later I'm watching the news segment about us on the TV and he's going on all about "He and His teammates handling the rescue" and he only mentions us by name once and goes on and on about how glad that his rescue plan worked. He made no mention of how me and Apogee were important in making that rescue plan work!

The next meeting I confronted him about it and he apologized and said "he was still getting used to the leadership thing". I thought, what the hell, newbie jitters every gets them.

But it kept happening with The Teen Troublemakers, Syndicate Sinister, and countless other battles I can't name. Also, when we argued, he tried to turn Apogee against me. Now me and Apogee were friends since we were training under the NSA instructors, so it didn't take. Still, I was pissed that he tried.

So I quit.

Interestingly enough, It wasn't like people make it out to be: it was all very quiet and dignified.

It went like this:

"Gazerbeam, I have done a lot of soul searching and realized I cannot work with you anymore. I feel that you don't treat me or Apogee with the proper respect we deserve."

See, I used a lot of "I" statements instead of "you" statements, just like all those damn talk show therapists say we're suppose to use.

He responded "Phylange, I feel that there is a lot of miscommunication between us."

He said this in the same voice he always used: flat and absolutely monotone. He didn't even a bit angry or upset. He sounded like a robot.

I wouldn't let him finish because I was sick of his justifications for his boorish behavior.

"I am leaving because I am sick of the arguments we have. I am tired of there being being any real change. I am tired of not being treated like I am a thinking being. Good-bye."

Notice how I still used "I" statements.

Anyway, I left and never looked back. It's been far more difficult going solo because I have to find my own means of transportation and other things, but I've got no regrets.

No regrets at all.


End file.
